Understand This

Content

People have the natural habit to listen autobiographically, which means that what has been said by another person is often reflected on yourself. And due to this we tend to respond in one of the next four ways:
We evaluate - we either agree or disagree
We ask questions - from your own frame of reference
We advice - we give council based on your own experience
We interpret - we try to figure people out, to explain their motives, behaviour, based on our own motives and behavior.
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In this short video you can see different  listening and responding styles and the effect it has.
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Of course both listeners in this situation have both very good intentions. Though one is listening on a deeper level.
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It is interesting to observe diverse situations and then you most probably will discover an enormous difference in all worldviews that people can have. While observing, keep in mind that people have different perspectives and that all people in the same situation can be right. For example when you as a young person are taking part in a youth work activity in your city, you can respond to an awareness activity about the importance of earning Open Badges for your future career as ‘that’s boring and I don’t need them, not my cup of tea and I will not spent time on it to understand!’. Whereas a youth leader in the same situation you want to do something important for your peers by creating open badges for experiences that people have to recognise the learning that happened in that experience.
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8 common reasons for misunderstanding: https://www.emooter.com/thoughts/about-misunderstanding/
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After looking at ‘seek first to understand’ we now are diving into ‘then to be understood’. Seeking to understand requires reflection and thinking. While seeking to be understood takes courage.In the previous activity we tried to create a Win-Win situation. If you want to achieve this then it is important that you are heard too.
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1: You can start with ‘seek first to understand’. This is in your Circle of Influence.
2: While you are deeply listening, you perhaps will notice that you can influence. 
3: Remember that you want to create Win-Win and Build you Crew, so deposit it in the relational bank account. Don’t damage the gained confidence from the other person.
4: When people don’t want to open up about their situation, you can be empathic by sense of the emotion or feeling and respond by for example ‘you seem excited/down/irritated/... today’. The other may say nothing and that is ok.
5: Now be open and brave and share your needs and thoughts. Even when you agree or disagree with the other, this is fine. Because you want to search for the Win-Win. Where you win and the other also. Perhaps even grow to synergy (but that’s the next activity).
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Participants of this activity can earn badges that connects to Global Youth Skills Competence Framework from Institute for the Future, specifically the skills zones: Keep it goingMake senseBuild your crew.
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This activity is the opportunity to get your learning acknowledged with open badges that are recognised and used globally.

Resources

Learning activity about understanding how others see you

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Understand This Get this badge

The holder of this badge has worked independently and/or in a collaboration with peers at first listening to understand, then to be understood which connects with the skill zones: Keep it going, Make sense and Build your crew of the Global Youth Skills Competence Framework from Institute for the Future.
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Evidence included in this badge showcases how the holder of this badge worked on these skills. International youth work trainers and local youth workers assessed the evidence submitted for earning this badge.

Tasks

Task no.1

Evidence verified by: one activity organiser

Step 1: Practice and develop to see yourself as others see you via this activity. You can do this activity on your own, but also ask someone to guide you through the process. 
Step 2: show your learning process via uploading your notes

Skills

ESCO

#listen actively

Civic engagement

Added to playlist (1)

Organisers

Network of Cities and Regions of Learning

Used in playlists

Leadership in relation with others

Network of Cities and Regions of Learning

Badgecraft hosts this platform and develops it together with leading educational organisations. The European Union's programme Erasmus+ granted co-funding for building the first version of this platform. Contact support@badgecraft.eu.